Breaking the Habit
by Scout-Is-Delicious
Summary: ...Linkin Park songfic... George misses Fred too much, and bleeds himself of his memories. Can someone stop his dangerous actions before other ideas come into his head? Rated T for dark themes, including depression and cutting.


**_Oh, dear... Fred dies in the seventh book... He was my most FAVORITE character too... Normally I never cry because of books... in fact, I never have... But this time I did... It's a broken record, and a broken heart... So I wrote this, originally for a set of twins that I know from real life. It's kind of dark-- okay, very dark. If you don't like cutting, blood, or death, I suggest not reading this. Please review, it's my first Harry Potter fic. I ask nicely that there are no flames._**

**_Summary: George misses Fred, and he can't forget his past life with his twin. Now he's trying to break the habit._**

**_Disclaimer: I own nothing associated with the song or Harry Potter._**

_George sits down at the table with only his mother and Ron with him. He is tired, sick, and hurting deep down. His mum is yelling at him because of his recent withdrawal from the rest of the family. Ever since Fred died, he hasn't been the same. He secludes himself from everyone, hiding in his room for most of the day except to get water. Not food. He hasn't been eating—only a piece of bread every few days._

_Mrs. Weasley yells at him again. Ron is silent as he listens to this._

_Finally George can't take it anymore. He knocks his plate and glass off the table. The dishes clatter to the floor in pieces. He screams at her about how his life is his life, then he storms off into his room. It's all too much..._

**Memories consume  
Like opening the wound  
I'm picking me apart again  
**_George shuts his door tight behind him and sighs. He sinks to the floor, burying his face in his arms. All his childhood memories, all the happiness he felt as a twin, come flooding back to him in a haze. Now he was alone… and he has been for some time now..._**  
You all assume  
I'm safe here in my room  
Unless I try to start again  
**_He notices a drawing Fred had made of his entire family—Mr. Weasley grinning too hugely in the back beside his wife, who had also been given a squiggly crayon mouth. Below them was Ron, beady-eyed and laughing, even as a drawing, and beside him was Ginny, with scarlet hair scribbled onto her circle of a head. And next to her stood George himself, smiling also, with his arm around his twin brother, Fred… They were happy. The way they should be… if Fred was still there…_

_George misses his twin brother. More than anything in the world. Fred is still a part of him, he always has been, and now that part is gone. Taken. Dead. George has nothing but the utmost love for his brother. He needs him._

**I don't want to be the one  
The battles always choose  
**_George pulls a pocket knife from his drawer and sits down on his bed. Pulling back his sleeve, he reveals his wrist, which is covered in healing scars. With a deep breath, he presses the blade to his skin._**  
'Cause inside I realize  
That I'm the one confused**

**I don't know what's worth fighting for  
Or why I have to scream  
**_George slits his wrist, inhaling sharply from the pain. Warm blood trickles from his wound onto the floor._**  
I don't know why I instigate  
****And say what I don't mean  
**_Another cut, and the memories return once again. He remembers Fred smiling warmly at him when they told their jokes. He remembers Fred coming up with a new prank to play on their friends, that same grin on his face that he's known his entire life. He remembers all the times that he'd have horrific nightmares, and Fred was the one he'd turn to for comfort. They were everything together, two people as one soul._**  
I don't know how I got this way  
I know it's not alright  
**_Then it becomes vivid in his head—the actual moment of Fred dying… The pain that he'd felt the moment it had happened. He'd literally felt the bloody pain of his brother being killed...  
_**So I'm breaking the habit  
**_He cuts…_**  
I'm breaking the habit  
**_He cuts…_**  
Tonight  
**_He believes that his own pain, his own blood, will quell the grief, the need for his brother in his heart._

_George lights a candle in the darkness; his brother's face is seen in his mind. Smiling... laughing... living... being Fred._

**Clutching my cure  
**_He grips the knife…_**  
I tightly lock the door  
**…_and locks the door._**  
I try to catch my breath again**

**I hurt much more  
Than anytime before  
**_He scrapes his wrist open raw and lets the blood drip onto the candle to put out the flame._  
**I had no options left again  
**_He pulls off his sweatshirt, letting it drop to the floor. He can't bear this… it's too much…_

_Ron comes to the door and knocks, asking for George to come out. He misses the mischief that his brother would play around the house. Since Fred has died, George is no longer the prankster he once had been. Without Fred, there simply was no point in trying._**  
I don't want to be the one  
The battles always choose  
**_George turns, glaring at the door. But he says nothing._**  
'Cause inside I realize  
That I'm the one confused  
**_He removes his t-shirt, dropping it to the floor._**  
**

_George runs the knife along his bare chest and stomach while Ron tries frantically to get into the room. The former twin is bleeding himself of his sorrow. He wants nothing more than to see his twin brother again. Nothing, in the whole world._**  
I don't know what's worth fighting for  
Or why I have to scream  
I don't know why I instigate  
And say what I don't mean  
I don't know how I got this way  
I'll never be alright  
So, I'm breaking the habit  
I'm breaking the habit  
Tonight  
**

_George drives the knife into the wall._

**I'll paint it on the walls  
**_George writes the words "NO MORE" on the wall in his own blood. He's ending his sorrow today… It's all built up to a point where no matter what he does, the memories will haunt him forever. Going on in life is simply impossible. Impossible without Fred..._**  
'Cause I'm the one at fault  
I'll never fight again  
**_Ron tries once again to get into the room._**  
And this is how it ends  
**_George only glances back briefly before sliding out the window._

_Ron finally bursts into his brother's room._**  
I don't know what's worth fighting for  
Or why I have to scream  
**_George lands on the ground, stern-faced, and begins to walk forward. It ends today..._**  
But now I have some clarity  
to show you what I mean  
**_Ron looks around the room, seeing the red-smothered candle, the knife on the bed, and the message of blood on the wall. He's never been so scared in his life._**  
I don't know how I got this way**  
**I'll never be alright  
**_Ron runs to the window and starts climbing out as __George stands in the middle of a nearby busy street._**  
So, I'm breaking the habit**

_Ron lands in the grass and makes a run for his brother. He must stop him, at all costs._**  
I'm breaking the habit**

_George closes his eyes and readies himself for an oncoming truck._**  
I'm breaking the habit  
**_A solitary tear floods George's eye and drips down his cheek._

_Ron screams for his brother._

**Tonight**

_George is hit by the truck and falls onto the curb._

_Ron stops in his pursuit, falling to his knees, and bursts into tears. He'd already lost one brother. Now he'd lost that brother's twin. He won't have to explain to anyone why George did it. The answer was obvious: There can't be George without Fred._


End file.
